Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Stats N Stuff

About 40 minutes ago, I was crunching numbers & editing web reports and babbling all kinds of really interesting stuff about HARL to myself while I was at it. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks... MENTAL FATIGUE.... BURNOUT.... TIREDNESS.... You know, that sudden yawning feeling that follows the 15 minutes of utter ephoria you feel after you've slept with the entire squad of Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Okay, maybe you don't know that feeling. I'm not a MAN WHORE either. But at least you get the general idea.
Geoff and I spent the whole day creatively playing with numbers trying to devise a sensible point value system for the wargame me and the guys have been developing for the last few years. Yeah years. So it wasn't a simple task. I'm starting to see tiny yellow octal digits (0 to 8) float across my field of vision when I close my eyes. I'd rather see boobies. But then, that's just me.
Anyway, I'll save any meaty commentary for another time and just leave you with some dribs & drabs of random thoughts before I go doze off for the night. My pillow is looking good right about now. 
I hate CODY ROSS. I drafted him because I predicted he'd be semi-decent; a nice low-cost power source. Then I dumped him just a few weeks into the season when he wasn't getting to play and seemed basically worthless. Kev scarfed him up. Last week he went nuts and had 15 RBI. FIFTEEN. Not a typo. He's sitting at around 15 dingers and 45+ RBI for the season. And I dumped him like a complete jackass. I HATE YOU CODY ROSS!
Speaking of Cody Ross and Kevin's association with him, the BREWSKIS offense went FRICKIN BONKERS last week. Absolutely crazy nuts. I looked at the team stats after clicking the button and letting the magic sabermetric computer elves generate the results for me. I saw 71 Runs, 26 HR, 86 RBI. Crikey I said, those look like 2 weeks worth of stats!!! Weird. But then I studied the individual team results for the Brewskis from last week. Everyone had monster weeks. Kev has lots of Rockies and Marlins hitters, and they had a supernatural weekend series filled with scoring, scoring, and more scoring. It was a MIRACLE WEEK sent from Heaven itself. That vaulted the Brewskis 10 points ahead of their prior offensive points total. That's almost impossible to do in early-July. Crazy, but awesome all the same time. Now if I could just get 2 miracle week's worth of PITCHING like that!!! 
Hey Dave, stop trading with Geoff dammit! The newly acquired Griller trio of HOWARD-ETHIER-BAUTISTA had a great week. Geoff's team would have led the league in offense quite easily last week had it not been for the God-sent Hitting Mana from Heaven that drifted down and showered its golden beauty across the Brewskis dugout last week. Meanwhile Michael Bourn is still trying to figure out how to steal 1st Base, and Brandon Jones and Max Scherzer are still toiling away in the minors waiting for a second chance to make a splash on the major league scene. Yeah, this could be a very good Next Year trade for Dave, but I hate when my closest competitors get something that will beat me THIS YEAR! As they say... DAT'S LIFE! I shoulda tried to snag Howard and/or Ethier first! 
All Star selection time always creates some controversy. David Wright not on the team? WOW. Soriano and Fukudome as STARTERS over Pat Burrell, Corey Hart, and Carlos Lee? LUDICROUS. Do we really need 12 Pitchers? Wouldn't TEN be more than enough? Jeez. Christian Guzman made the team? REALLY? Over Jose Reyes or Brandon Phillips? SAD.
And as for C.C Sabathia.... Okie dokie... Ain't touching that one again.

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